Looking fierce and working gold Fendi within an inch of its life, Jennifer Lopez graces the February cover of Harper’s Bazaar. But don’t let the glamour fool you- she’ll still that same homegirl from the Bronx (in a $10K Fendi dress, mmmkay?!).
Spouting a slew of nauseatingly contrived quotes, Lopez opens up about her “big” life with boytoy Casper Smart, her twins Emme and Max, and how she keeps grounded by doing pedestrian tasks like occasionally packing her own suitcase, flying First class with Emirates (it’s commercial, bitches!) zipping up her own dress, tending to basic hygiene for her own children and gasp!- picking up their clothes (to throw in the housekeeper’s face for laundry).
Below are excerpts from the interview, with a side of TRUTH thrown in to control your gag reflex.
On daily life: “I like the whole idea of traveling, of looking good, and doing it well. (With my personal stylist, trainer, chef and bodyguard). I make it as simple and as beautiful as I can because my life is kind of big. (But my ego could eclipse the sun). So I pack my luggage, or dress myself (to shop Rodeo Drive) or comb my kids’ hair (when I feel like it) pick up their clothes– that makes our life beautiful, you know? (“No?!”- Every working Mom at 7:00am: hairbrush in one hand, Dora lunchbox in another, Metropass between teeth). There’s something very elegant in that.”
On beau Casper Smart: “He’s like my best friend. I can tell him everything, when I’m feeling down, when I’m feeling good. He gives moral support, endless love and support.” (He’s 25 with a gifted Bentley, and endless bankroll. Mama didn’t raise no fool.)
On the green Versace: “I have that at home. The other day, my housekeeper put it on a mannequin in my spa, where I get my hair and makeup done. She sent me a picture. (Which I immediately forwarded to my lawyer). She was like, ‘You like this dress?’ Um, yeah, but I don’t know if I like it out in the house.” (She was fired the next day).
On the daily grind: “I think I can just handle more than the average bear, you know?” (We do now! *Cringe*).