“Shitters Full!” The Art of Re-Gifting

Another Christmas morning, another 100 %  polyester chiffon blouse from the Geriatrics department. As childish as it may be, we all wish for that perfect gift to open on Christmas morning, regardless of age. If after penning a detailed “wishlist” you are still left resorting to an Oscar-worthy performance after opening that “perfect” black, calf-skimming, bell-shaped skirt (Amish paradise), fear not fashionista. There are ways of putting those gems to good use and possibly getting what you want, without landing yourself on The Naughty List.

First, go in for the kill and ask for a gift receipt. These days, most retailers give them liberally, as it ensures a purchase from the store. While you’re at it, skip the soul-crushing excuses why you require it and simple ask. Money is tight for most people around the holiday season, so chances are they’d rather see you get some enjoyment out of their expenditure, rather than have it delegated to the back of the closet. If pressed for a reason, feign holiday weight gain for clothing (NOBODY wants to go there) and if it’s an accessory, state that you have something very similar (you LIAR!).  Because even if the gift itself is tragic, chances are there’s at least something (we all need socks) in the store where the gift was purchased. If the store has nothing of your taste, try using the credit note on the person who bestowed such a lovely present to you in the first place. This isn’t twisted revenge, as it will surely be their taste, and everybody’s a winner.

No gift receipt? You know that saying “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure”. Trash is trash, but it’s time to start believing in the spirit of Christmas: Re-gifting! When the inner cheapskate  in you emerges after reviewing your bank statement mid-December (have mercy!)  finding a use for that unused clutch becomes all too obvious, and I’m not knocking it. And if you think you’ve never been re-gifted, wake up and smell the scented candle! ( A definite re-gift). After seasons of acquiring items that just aren’t you, the re-gift is almost expected. If the gift is so bad it’s almost comical- think cheese grater, opened lotions, and hot sauce called “Fart Juice” (which I was the proud owner of last Christmas and actually tried out of curiosity- thanks Dad!), considering tossing it into the gift-grab at a large gathering where some other sucker can have a laugh with it. Bad Santa!!

Merry Christmas Everyone! x

The Art of Re-gifting: One person's trash is another person's treasure

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